Kenny J

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Why am I still single? It's a question with so many answers.

Have you ever been asked the question “Why are you still single?” Everyone hates being asked, and there’s never a good answer you can give people.

Maybe you just got out of a bad relationship? Maybe you haven’t met that magic someone yet? There are so many great reasons to be single.

But asking the question to yourself, “Why am I still single?” is much harder.

According to Dr. Lisa Firestone, with PsychAlive.org, most of the main reasons are battling “internal challenges I need to face.”

“When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s hard not to feel that you are a victim,” Dr. Firestone said. “After all, others can be cruel; you will get hurt, and no, it isn’t always your fault. But the reality is that we hold more power over our romantic destiny than we often think.”

Dr. Firestone says these are the top eight reasons we might need to face before we can answer ourselves honestly:

  • 1. Defenses

    Getting bitter and defensive is difficult. It can really make dating hard.

  • 2. Unhealthy Attractions

    We’ve all had our stupid moments, where we were attracted to people or things we shouldn’t be. Those are a major roadblock.

  • 3. Fear of Intimacy

    When you overthink what all is involved in love, it can cause a lot of problems.

  • 4. Pickiness

    Nobody wants to settle, but sometimes are we a little too picky?

  • 5. Low Self-Esteem

    We are usually our own worst enemy, whether it’s because somebody else caused it or not. Thinking you aren’t enough for someone else can really keep you single.

  • 6. Fear of Competition

    Nobody wants to feel rejected, and feeling like someone else would be better for your desired partner is a bad feeling.

  • 7. Isolation and Routine

    The more settled in you are to the ways you act and live, the harder it is to break free from that with someone else.

  • 8. Rule-making

    Making your list and checking it twice is great for Santa, but not always for dating.

  • Read More

    Dr. Lisa Firestone does a great job of explaining all of these elements. Read her full article here.